Overwhelmed

Over the past few weeks--maybe even months--I haven't been feeling quite like myself. Some of my actions have caused me to second guess what I'm doing and where my life is headed.

When all of my friends were freaking out about graduation last year, I rest assured knowing I still had the bonus year of my 5-year Master's Program to look forward to. But now that time seems to be ticking away faster than I can keep up and there's only two quarters left of my college career, it's my turn to panic.

The worst part about all of this added stress is the fact that it seems to be self-inflicted. Of course school brings on all of its regular moans and groans, but all of my outside worries and fears seem to stem from my own mistakes and self-created anxieties.

Take for instance, trying to change my major with only two quarters left of school. Prompted by my video and multimedia work at RedEye, I decided to take broadcast journalism for a spin. I learned quickly that this is not the kind of thing you can just dive into! 

Luckily I figured out it wasn't for me before I got too involved and have since decided to refocus my efforts back to print/online journalism with an emphasis in multimedia storytelling techniques & blogging. Since this realization, I've been a lot more centered and am looking forward to applying for new internships in freelance travel writing and web producing for Winter Quarter.

Beyond the professional, my personal life has also become a cause of stress and uncertainty. In this crazy transition stage of my life, I feel like I'm at a crossroads with what I want for myself and unfortunately, I was dragging someone else along on that roller coaster ride far longer than he ever deserved to be on board.

While I don't regret any minute of our beautiful time together, I know that to truly get better and find my way, I need to take some time to tune into myself. It's time to breathe and reboot--all by myself. 

There is still no certainty for what life has in store, but I'm looking forward to keeping calm & carrying on with whatever comes my way.

Marathon Training: Running Buddy

Over the weekend, I finally had the chance to run with my motivation for doing this marathon in the first place -- my step dad Brad.

Brad has run a few marathons in his day and has been talking about doing the Chicago Marathon since I started going to school here back in 2008. With one bonus year left, I decided to do something I never thought I would do...told him I would do it with him. 

Of course, when I made this statement, there was still snow on the ground and October seemed like a long, long ways away. I also thought I would be living in Minnesota this summer so I would have a constant companion to push me through those excruciatingly long runs and all the aches and moans in between. 

Turns out, I landed the RedEye job and was forced to self-discipline myself all summer. Not exactly my strong suit. 

But all the while, Brad was still there to talk me through an injury or make me feel less guilty for only running 4 miles when I was meant to do 8. Even from 2 states away, I still feel like I've had a good coach walking (or running?) me through the process and encouraging me to keep my eye on the end goal.

We completed my longest run to date on Sunday -- 15 miles. Again, another thing I never thought I would say, but it was actually fun. Running 15 miles in the smoldering September sun was actually fun. So much better than the 12 miler I did by myself a few weeks back! It allowed us to catch up on everything and we helped each other maintain a good pace control so we were able to finish out strong with a sprint at the end. 

And having this cutie bike along with us the entire way certainly helped to!

With only 3 weeks left until the race, I've got one long run left (20 miles...wah, wah, wah) and all I can say is I wish Brad would be here to make the time pass just a little bit faster.

At least we're in this together and I know I've got the best running buddy I could ask for in doing Marathon #1!

Back to School

Well, that hit me like a ton of bricks.

After an outrageous week and a half in Boston and New York, I'm struggling hard to get back into the school mentality. Homework? What does that even mean...

But alas, it's that time again to add school back into the balance and let's be honest, it could be a hell of a lot worse. This time around I'm in the final homestretch. One last year to truly narrow in on what I want to do with my life and soak up all of the knowledge I can before I'm released into the real world. 

My time at the RedEye showed me how much my field is evolving and how important it will be for me to have more video experience--both on and off screen. IFBCON also taught a Video Blogging 101 seminar that got me really excited to start incorporating more digital elements in both my academic and personal writing pieces. 

I've got a lot to learn and a long way to go, but that's what this final year is for. 

Cheers to my last first day of school ever!

Image via 1

InstaLife: Summer 2012

{sunrise from lakeshore drive}

{9 to 5: tribune tower}

{fashion inferno photo shoot for RedEye - by lenny gilmore}

{missing australia}

{rendezvous with old friends}

{holstein park pool - only 4 blocks from my new house!}

{choice chicago eats - butcher & the burger turkey burger and fries; giordano's pineapple & pepperoni pizza}

{doing my homework for nyfw & ifbcon 2012}

Chicago Apartment Hunting

As we get further into July, I find myself starting to wonder whether or not I'm going to be homeless come August 1st.

This is not because I have an expensive crack addiction that has drained me of all my money.
Nor is it because I haven't taken the time to look for a new place.
And it's ESPECIALLY not because I'm being nit-picky and refuse to live anywhere outside of the bubble that is Lincoln Park.

Rather, the dismal truth is that the renting market in Chicago (everywhere...) has fallen with the rest of the economy and rent prices have skyrocketed while vacancies are down. Horrible combination.

Apartments are literally being snatched up in mere hours after being listed and decent apartments now have good apartment prices attached...usually with no utilities included.

RedEye recently ran a story about this issue, offering suggestions for alternate neighborhoods to try out beyond the ever-popular Lincoln Park/Lakeview/Wicker Park areas, but even still my struggle continues.

I don't think what I'm asking for is too out there! A 2-bedroom apartment; max-rent: $1,700; no pets; non-smokers; near the El so we can get downtown to work/school.

DOES IT REALLY HAVE TO BE THIS DIFFICULT?!

Finding a Balance...

...is a hell of a lot harder than I want it to be.

As much as you try to plan things out and find a happy medium between everything, there is no denying that life just likes to get in the way sometimes.

Whether it's midterms or a tough break-up, it's very easy to lose focus of everything you set out to do.

Images via 1, 2

This post is more for myself than anything...just to give some perspective into what I truly want to do and what kind of balance I actually want to have.

With four full weeks left of my undergrad career, I'm not as concerned with planning out every detail quite yet--it is the season for grad parties, tough finals and goodbyes after all.

But when summer hits, I've got some big goals (including really getting this blog to take off!) and I wanted to share them so I'd maybe have some sort of standard to hold myself to...

GETTIN' IT TOGETHER - SUMMER 2012

Running
My no bull-shit, stop-making-excuses training start day is quickly approaching (June 11) and I will truly have to dedicate myself to getting in shape for the Chicago Marathon in October. I'm kind of nervous seeing as how my true laziness has really shown itself these last couple months, but I just have to keep my eye on the end goal!

RedEye
Landing this internship at the RedEye is an absolute dream come true! I can't wait to continue growing as a writer at a publication that I love to read.

Build a Balance
This baby has been in the works for quite awhile and I'm excited to have more time to pour my heart&soul into it.

Music

This beautiful guitar taunts me day in and day out. All I want is to be able to pick it up and belt something out, but it usually ends in me walking away with disgust because I don't even know where to begin. 

Not only am I dying to learn, but I also kind of owe it to my family seeing as how my Dad owns a guitar shop...it's just kind of shameful that I can't play.  

With a little extra free-time that won't have to be spent doing homework (ooh sweet summertime), I definitely want NEED to dedicate it to learning how to play this bad boy. 

Also under music, I'm including: FESTIVALS. Definitely going to need some fun to add into the balance. I already have tickets to Lollapalooza (first-timer!) and need to get on snagging a pass for Spring Awakening too!

Along with these core-four, I can't wait to see what else the summer has in store...