Marathon Training: Discipline

I will run this track in 3 days. Holy shit.

As I was showing my friends the "everything you need to know" guide to the marathon yesterday, I started getting extremely nervous. 26 fucking miles. 

Admittedly, my longest run has only been 15 miles. Tried to make 20 happen and it just didn't get there. I've told that to a few runners and they look at me with that, "Ooooh, well I'm sure you'll be okay..." judgmental face and all my confidence goes out the window. 

This got me thinking about discipline. Have I not tried hard enough? Would I be nervous if I had stuck exactly to the plan? 

I've never been the most disciplined person. I knew that would be my biggest struggle in completing this marathon, but I was determined to work hard and maybe, finally be an organized, put together and all-around "better" person.

Turns out I'm still kind of a hot mess. Well, a little better than that, but definitely still a work in progress. Not just in running, but kind of in life in general. I always feel like I could be doing better, that I should be disciplining myself more and constantly working towards being that perfectly-balanced person I, oh so badly, want to become.

Said person, do you even exist? 

But I always seem to give into those little indulgences. As hard as I've tried to condition my life to fit in all of these things that I think I'm supposed to do, I always seem to give into the impulses and temptations that surround me every day. There's always some justification--"I have a lot of work to do today; I'll just run extra long tomorrow," or "I mean [random friend] only turns 23 once, I suppose I can go out for a drink and finish this assignment after"--that leads me away from the written out plan I like to call my to-do list. 

Some people question how I manage to do everything I do. How do I fit in so much? 

So why do I never feel like I'm doing enough? Always my own toughest critic. 

To keep myself positive these next few days, I need to stay focused on the reason why I decided to do this in the first place. 

Working at the finish line for the 2011 marathon, I saw people in every shape, color and size cross that line. Blind people; disabled people; even people with no legs at all. 

It was one of the single most inspirational things I have ever seen and apparently it turned me into a  crazy person because it was that day that I decided I'm going to cross that finish line too. 

Images via 1, 2, 3, 4

Awakening

Lightening Wrap 

Awakening | Change | Fate

"A symbol of power and sudden breakthrough, lightening represents a swift awakening. Adorn yourself with the Lightening Wrap to initiate change, mark destiny, and address chance happenings." 

Back to School

Well, that hit me like a ton of bricks.

After an outrageous week and a half in Boston and New York, I'm struggling hard to get back into the school mentality. Homework? What does that even mean...

But alas, it's that time again to add school back into the balance and let's be honest, it could be a hell of a lot worse. This time around I'm in the final homestretch. One last year to truly narrow in on what I want to do with my life and soak up all of the knowledge I can before I'm released into the real world. 

My time at the RedEye showed me how much my field is evolving and how important it will be for me to have more video experience--both on and off screen. IFBCON also taught a Video Blogging 101 seminar that got me really excited to start incorporating more digital elements in both my academic and personal writing pieces. 

I've got a lot to learn and a long way to go, but that's what this final year is for. 

Cheers to my last first day of school ever!

Image via 1

Balance is Beautiful

Paging through The Five Book by Dave Zadra, I came across this little reminder to stay balanced.

Definitely needed this inspiration on a Monday! P.S. Don't mind my alien thumb...

Finding a Balance...

...is a hell of a lot harder than I want it to be.

As much as you try to plan things out and find a happy medium between everything, there is no denying that life just likes to get in the way sometimes.

Whether it's midterms or a tough break-up, it's very easy to lose focus of everything you set out to do.

Images via 1, 2

This post is more for myself than anything...just to give some perspective into what I truly want to do and what kind of balance I actually want to have.

With four full weeks left of my undergrad career, I'm not as concerned with planning out every detail quite yet--it is the season for grad parties, tough finals and goodbyes after all.

But when summer hits, I've got some big goals (including really getting this blog to take off!) and I wanted to share them so I'd maybe have some sort of standard to hold myself to...

GETTIN' IT TOGETHER - SUMMER 2012

Running
My no bull-shit, stop-making-excuses training start day is quickly approaching (June 11) and I will truly have to dedicate myself to getting in shape for the Chicago Marathon in October. I'm kind of nervous seeing as how my true laziness has really shown itself these last couple months, but I just have to keep my eye on the end goal!

RedEye
Landing this internship at the RedEye is an absolute dream come true! I can't wait to continue growing as a writer at a publication that I love to read.

Build a Balance
This baby has been in the works for quite awhile and I'm excited to have more time to pour my heart&soul into it.

Music

This beautiful guitar taunts me day in and day out. All I want is to be able to pick it up and belt something out, but it usually ends in me walking away with disgust because I don't even know where to begin. 

Not only am I dying to learn, but I also kind of owe it to my family seeing as how my Dad owns a guitar shop...it's just kind of shameful that I can't play.  

With a little extra free-time that won't have to be spent doing homework (ooh sweet summertime), I definitely want NEED to dedicate it to learning how to play this bad boy. 

Also under music, I'm including: FESTIVALS. Definitely going to need some fun to add into the balance. I already have tickets to Lollapalooza (first-timer!) and need to get on snagging a pass for Spring Awakening too!

Along with these core-four, I can't wait to see what else the summer has in store...

build a balance

In the days of kings and queens I was a jester. 

They treat me like a god, 

oh they treat me like a leper. 

See me move back and forth between both. 

I'm trying to find a balance.

I'm trying to build a balance.

-Atmosphere, Seven's Travels 

Welcome to build a balance! My name is Amanda Marie and I'm 22 years old -- you know, that scary age when you have to start figuring out what your "real life" is going to be all about.

Images via 1, 2

Carpe Diem was always my mantra. Seize the pleasures of the moment without concern for the future.

But the future is starting to come at me like a big sack of bricks and I’m thinking it’s about time I get a little more concerned--while still having a great time of course. 

This is where building a balance comes in.

In the midst of internships, senior year of college and heading into grad school, I wanted to create an outlet to balance my thoughts and ensure fun and creativity still has a space to thrive. 

Come along with me as I try to find my balance. Maybe along the way I can help to build yours too.